There is a buzzword out there in the world wide web for us spiritual awakened-types, and it’s called “Kundalini Syndrome”. It sounds as scary as it very well might be. It is classified by Kundalini symptoms being near to that of psychosis and sometimes delusion. It can be psychosomatic. But it always is as a result of a sudden or gradual onset of spiritual changes within the person, and almost always as a result of Kundalini (or a near death experience, as an example of another sudden spiritual shift) awakening through a body that is ill-prepared for such an event to take place.
Gopi Krishna, one of my spiritual idols, wrote:
“The power, when aroused in a body not attuned to it with the help of various disciplines or not genetically mature for it, can lead to awful mental states, to almost every form of mental disorder, from hardly noticeable aberrations to the most horrible forms of insanity, to neurotic and paranoid states, to megalomania and, by causing tormenting pressure on reproductive organs, to an all-consuming thirst that is never assuaged.”
This is what has been taking place inside of me. Maybe not all at once and maybe not the worst forms of insanity, at least not for extended periods of time. But it has been happening. I have felt mentally and physically ill, and I have not known which way is up, which way is out, whether I am causing it myself or what is happening at all. I have felt completely powerless against this tidal wave of torment. For five years. Five years! Who could bear such a weight? Carrying the ring of power into Mordor as the landscape gets worse and worse, resources scarce - demons become more abundant - it is a perfect metaphor for this process, going it alone and without guidance after having awakened perhaps prematurely.
The nervous system is a complex thing and yet un-researched when it comes to Kundalini’s effects upon it. Thus far there has been no way to research this and there may never be. All that is known is there is a mighty difference between one who has undergone the preparatory processes (through yoga, breathing, meditation) in order to more safely awaken the energy and one who awakens spontaneously. The former, of course, may do these exercises without knowing what they are doing, but often one with such devotion will be doing these things in order to tap into these powerful resources within. The latter, like me, often has no idea what has just happened, and thus absolutely no way to cope. Finding answers through the internet can be daunting and there are a lot of abject personalities out there you want to avoid. Whether it simply be in the mind’s preparation or the preparation of the nervous system as well, the person who practices and who knows what they are doing will generally have a more pleasant experience of this energy and come across fewer problems along the way.
Just like anything in this lifetime, the Law Of Attraction states that what you give your attention to will grow. If you give yourself over to fears and ego-based resistances to this process then it will become negative. What Gopi Krishna said above can become all too true. Pain, disease, weakness, mental disorders and all of the resulting loss of family, friends and other relationships.
As much as one must surrender to this process one must also become an active participant in its evolution if one hopes to shape the course of things. I have made the mistake of being too passive, too distracted and too caught up in the life I had before(and thus the self I was before) the awakening happened to give myself over to the teachings and the requirements of my ascension. If this has happened to you then your life has been given anew, and there is no going back. You will be asked, and then told to change things - and then scolded painfully if you do not listen. The process of ascension in and of itself has never once harmed me. It has only ever been my perception of, or lack of care for, its presence inside of me which has done me harm. This is not to say that pain will never be part of the process if you surrender, as it most certainly is always an aspect of awakening. But my understanding is that one can diminish these unsavoury mental and physical states of being, and perhaps someday, completely.
Again, Gopi Krishna wrote:
“…in the place of a roaring noise in my ears, there was now a cadence like the humming of a swarm of bees, enchanting and melodious, and the encircling glow was replaced by a penetrating silvery radiance, already a feature of my being within and without. The marvellous aspect of the condition, lay in the sudden realization that although linked to the body and surroundings I had expanded in an indescribable manner into a titanic personality, conscious from within of an immediate and direct contact with and intensely conscious universe, a wonderful inexpressible immanence all around me.”
I have to hope that this is possible. I am about to undergo this transformation through rigourous practice and devotional love. I will continue to report back about my progress.
© Shannon Naithair Teine, 2011.
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