We all know Lewis Carroll’s convoluted, imaginary and lyrical story of a young girl who feels different from her peers, her surroundings, and through a flight of fancy chases what may or may not be an apparition of a rabbit down an endless hole. We have come to accept that story as part of our upbringing and we understand the idea of falling down, down, down, not knowing when we are going to hit the bottom; or even scarier still, what the bottom might hold in store for us.
Perhaps some of us have felt similarly to this at one point or another, or in the case of one woman I read about in a book about the brain who had a disorder where her inner ear fluid was imbalanced so she was constantly feeling as though she was falling, falling, falling. But for most of us it is a metaphorical falling. For Trent Reznor’s Nine Inch Nails it was “The Downward Spiral”, for Lacuna Coil it is “Empty Spiral.” For some it means depression. There are certainly a lot of different types out there now according to Western Medicine ~ we’ve come to know words like bipolar, manic, (mild, moderate, severe), anxiety disorders, schizophrenia, etc. And Western Medicine will try to pin down the symptoms of a Kundalini Awakening as such, most of the time. But the fact is that a Kundalini Awakening is not as such, not even a little bit. It may cause the nervous system and the brain to react, compensate and fire off in similar ways but it is not the same. It may cause things like temporary depression, anxiety, mania, and there are many cases of people who were diagnosed with schizophrenia who are actually Kundalini Awakened but were tossed into the wrong building: a mental hospital instead of a spiritual emergency sanctuary.
I am a firm believer, after 5 years of being Awakened and having endured my own self-inflicted and non-self-inflicted hell many times over that it is the conditioning of the mind, body and spirit which will make all the difference between pain and bliss, terror and ease, torment and peace. And we are primarily, if not solely, responsible for this ongoing conditioning. Whatever you have read, heard, or been brought up to think about the way the world and life is, you may have to change that a lot. I have had to and will have to for the rest of my life!
My upbringing, although beautiful, amazing and very supportive of my artistic endeavours and general sensitive nature was not privy to the knowledge about Kundalini or any of her many appendages (ie the idea of chakras, energy centres, prana, etc.) My upbringing, as I imagine a great deal of people’s to be in the Western world, if we are lucky enough to be clothed, sheltered, fed and schooled, is quite grounded in this life, and in this world and in this way of understanding what we see, feel, taste, touch, etc. We are not taught in school, at home or in the doctor’s office that little Ki has a vastly, immensely, inconceivably powerful serpent of energy coiled at the base of her spine, and that little Billy, little Jeremy and little Tabby do too, so do Mommy and Daddy and Grandma and Grandpa. We’re not told that given the right circumstances, whether they be through decades of conscious yogic/meditative provocation or a week of drinking and doing drugs (like me), little Ki’s serpent of immense power will be roused and break through its hymen in the Muladhara chakra and make its ascent up the spine, renting the person’s sky asunder.
Why aren’t we told about this? Well, the first reason is because it was only within the last century that Kundalini was even spoken about as more of a common event in an ‘everyday’ person, as opposed to the priveleged attainment of Yogis. Gopi Krishna (1903-1984) was the first to write an autobiography of the tumultuous Kundalini events in his own life.
This literature was groundbreaking in its honesty and thoroughness - it is so descriptive, colourful and deep that leaves the reader without question that this actually happened to him and that it is something completely unlike the experiences of most people. As you will read in any of his online biographies, his books helped break into the Western world and helped to merge ‘Western Science and Eastern Wisdom.’ Since then there have certainly been others, El Collie for example, Yvonne Kason’s Farther Shores, my friend Gabriel Morris. But despite the growth of knowledge and shared experiences there simply are not - yet - enough Awakened people in the world who are writing and speaking out like this for it to be recognized, fully, in the mainstream.
Now I know that I have only had a very small, singular experience thus far, but I have had many doctors take a look at me over these 5 intense years. The first was an amourous young male doctor who had decided, because the symptoms were so similar, that I was having panic attacks and prescribed me Clonazapam enough to knock out a horse. A couple of subsequent doctors in Montreal over my years at school evaluated me as needing psychiatric help because there was nothing actually medically wrong with my heart, lungs, etc, and why did I keep coming back with all of these agonizing chest pains? The ones in Toronto were no different - I even went out on that very sensitive limb and told my most recent doctor, a nice, young woman, about Kundalini and it’s effects, and I received the typical reaction from her: of not even hearing the term before, and that perhaps I should go to ‘this support group for Artists.’ Who knew there was even such a thing? Though I suppose we are crazy in a category unto ourselves, aren’t we!?
Why aren’t we told about this? Well, the first reason is because it was only within the last century that Kundalini was even spoken about as more of a common event in an ‘everyday’ person, as opposed to the priveleged attainment of Yogis. Gopi Krishna (1903-1984) was the first to write an autobiography of the tumultuous Kundalini events in his own life.
This literature was groundbreaking in its honesty and thoroughness - it is so descriptive, colourful and deep that leaves the reader without question that this actually happened to him and that it is something completely unlike the experiences of most people. As you will read in any of his online biographies, his books helped break into the Western world and helped to merge ‘Western Science and Eastern Wisdom.’ Since then there have certainly been others, El Collie for example, Yvonne Kason’s Farther Shores, my friend Gabriel Morris. But despite the growth of knowledge and shared experiences there simply are not - yet - enough Awakened people in the world who are writing and speaking out like this for it to be recognized, fully, in the mainstream.
Now I know that I have only had a very small, singular experience thus far, but I have had many doctors take a look at me over these 5 intense years. The first was an amourous young male doctor who had decided, because the symptoms were so similar, that I was having panic attacks and prescribed me Clonazapam enough to knock out a horse. A couple of subsequent doctors in Montreal over my years at school evaluated me as needing psychiatric help because there was nothing actually medically wrong with my heart, lungs, etc, and why did I keep coming back with all of these agonizing chest pains? The ones in Toronto were no different - I even went out on that very sensitive limb and told my most recent doctor, a nice, young woman, about Kundalini and it’s effects, and I received the typical reaction from her: of not even hearing the term before, and that perhaps I should go to ‘this support group for Artists.’ Who knew there was even such a thing? Though I suppose we are crazy in a category unto ourselves, aren’t we!?
When I first Awakened I was told that some doctors who are actually in the know are not allowed to discuss Kundalini because they could lose their licence. As insane as that might seem to you or me, if you think about it in the Western Medicine context it makes perfect sense, as a doctor cannot prescribe you, in his or her right mind, Clonazapam or other anti-depressants/anti-psychotics if you are having a K Awakening. Anyone who knows a thing or two about the Lady Serpent knows that she likes a clean body to work with and that these drugs are just going to delay the inevitable: which is that She will work on you eventually so you might as well give up the prop. Western Medicine doctors are thus far bound to their unfortunate offerings and therefore are not taught about Kundalini. (As far as I know, and if they are, they certainly don’t lead on that they are aware of it.)
So, since Kundalini is, if we are going to label it anything, primarily a ‘health concern’ (spiritual and physical), if doctors don’t know about it, why should we? It is such a secular experience and thus a secular body of knowledge. This, coupled with the fact that it is so easily mislabeled as a mental disorder or disease, makes even its literature and expression of personal experience at times as scoffed at as alien abduction experiences or talking to spirits. Forget doctors, my own friends have looked at me with that baffled, at times intolerant expression when I have told them what I am going through. My closest, dearest friends. My parents, even. The only romantic relationships of mine that have survived have been because these partner(s) have gone through similar things and have open minds to these experiences. All others have failed, because it is such an immense part of my experience (and anyone’s if they’re experiencing it), it cannot be avoided, it is integrated into every aspect of being, so if your partners or friends do not know or care to know, well - most of them vacate your life. Or you vacate theirs, because you move on - Kundalini is always changing the person it is inside.
However, for many at this point in time it is not a matter of open-mindedness as opposed to closed-mindedness. I think it is partly this of course, depending on who you are talking to (and often what generation you are talking to) but I think for most people these days it’s a matter of education and integration. More and more people are becoming ‘spiritual’ on one level or another, even mainstream day time television giants like Oprah are hopping on the Eckhart Tolle train. We as a species can get used to anything and call anything mainstream if it is shoved in our faces enough.
Regardless of where I came from or what I previously wanted out of this life, I have been given something that is undeniably bigger and more powerful than ‘me’ that exists inside of me. It has the potential to heal and to catapult humans into a far more balanced, symbiotic and connected state of being. According to Gopi Krishna, it has the potential to lead us to Enlightenment and the Beyond much more quickly than other methods simply because it is something that already exists inside of us. As for what it is exactly, my limited language abilities will attempt to explain what I know in the next But I am no expert, no one is. Though if the ignorance/innocence of the Western World is telling me anything, it is that I have the responsibility to spread whatever knowledge I do have, to help people along the path as I have been thrown upon it.
So, since Kundalini is, if we are going to label it anything, primarily a ‘health concern’ (spiritual and physical), if doctors don’t know about it, why should we? It is such a secular experience and thus a secular body of knowledge. This, coupled with the fact that it is so easily mislabeled as a mental disorder or disease, makes even its literature and expression of personal experience at times as scoffed at as alien abduction experiences or talking to spirits. Forget doctors, my own friends have looked at me with that baffled, at times intolerant expression when I have told them what I am going through. My closest, dearest friends. My parents, even. The only romantic relationships of mine that have survived have been because these partner(s) have gone through similar things and have open minds to these experiences. All others have failed, because it is such an immense part of my experience (and anyone’s if they’re experiencing it), it cannot be avoided, it is integrated into every aspect of being, so if your partners or friends do not know or care to know, well - most of them vacate your life. Or you vacate theirs, because you move on - Kundalini is always changing the person it is inside.
However, for many at this point in time it is not a matter of open-mindedness as opposed to closed-mindedness. I think it is partly this of course, depending on who you are talking to (and often what generation you are talking to) but I think for most people these days it’s a matter of education and integration. More and more people are becoming ‘spiritual’ on one level or another, even mainstream day time television giants like Oprah are hopping on the Eckhart Tolle train. We as a species can get used to anything and call anything mainstream if it is shoved in our faces enough.
Regardless of where I came from or what I previously wanted out of this life, I have been given something that is undeniably bigger and more powerful than ‘me’ that exists inside of me. It has the potential to heal and to catapult humans into a far more balanced, symbiotic and connected state of being. According to Gopi Krishna, it has the potential to lead us to Enlightenment and the Beyond much more quickly than other methods simply because it is something that already exists inside of us. As for what it is exactly, my limited language abilities will attempt to explain what I know in the next But I am no expert, no one is. Though if the ignorance/innocence of the Western World is telling me anything, it is that I have the responsibility to spread whatever knowledge I do have, to help people along the path as I have been thrown upon it.
© Shannon Naithair Teine, 2011.
For more information check out this article by El Collie.
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