Kundalini Awakening Story From a Young Woman

I had an amazing experience with kundalini this morning

I have never intentionally worked towards awakening my kundalini, but instead it began awakening randomly a couple of years ago without me understanding what was happening.

and the universe led me to click on a wrong link one day and find myself on an Amazon page for a book about kundalini. This led me on a trail of research. I felt her stirring as I began to understand, finally able to put to words my spiritual turmoil from the last few years. At first I was very eager to began my journey with kundalini, but then began to suppress it because it scared me a bit to understand this immense depth of the universe inside of me

so in the midst of an episode of sleep paralysis this morning, when kundalini began ascending my spine, instead of fighting it as I always do, I surrendered and allowed it to travel up to my crown, whereupon my body was enveloped in this gloriously pure energy. There is no other way to describe it other than saying it felt like a full-body orgasm. I saw indescribable colours and visions behind my eyes and heard the sounds of a rainforest. This was different from other experiences, because when I try to stop it, the energy feels overwhelming and forced, but this time I was in a state of divine ecstasy. 

but the sleep paralysis in itself is a frightful experience and I forced myself out of the state. I would have liked to continue the state without the sleep paralysis, which is something I will begin working on with kundalini meditation and yoga. (by the way, it seems most of my kundalini experiences happen when I am in the midst of sleep paralysis. it is not the norm, but it does happen occasionally. has anybody else experienced this?)

I’m left feeling very calm and centered. last night I admitted to my boyfriend that lately I have felt no will to live and I have been thinking a lot about suicide. I’ve been feeling detached from life, as if I am witnessing myself be an actor in a play. I feel completely unreal at times and everything about my current living situation has left me feeling hopeless and desperate. I could go on an on about the delusions and struggles, but anyway…, It was really hard for me to hurt him by admitting that, and though he tried to comfort me, there was this hollow feeling in me as I went to bed, as if nothing he said or did could help.

I now understand I want to live, because i believe the sole reason for life is to experience spiritual growth on one’s way to nirvana/ultimate liberation (whathaveyou—sometimes it feels ridiculous to put words to what I know to be beyond words). I must dedicate this life to consciously becoming one with all by helping end suffering for myself and all living beings

It’s incredibly hard to fight my ego, because at times I feel like I have lost touch with myself completely and let my ego run on auto-pilot. I understand the senselessness of this now. I thank this divine universe for giving me the gift of kundalini in this lifetime, for helping me on my way towards the right path.

I feel so giddy right now. As if all the worries in my head have been wiped away by the ancient light of the stars :)

this is turning into a long post, but hear me out. last night I watched the trees sway in the wind, a sensuous dance that my boyfriend and I had the priviledge to witness. The air was very calm last night, somewhere in that perfect balance between cold and hot where it almost seemed like there was no temperature at all, if not for the occasional soft, cool wisp of the wind

there is so much symbolism lately in nature about finding the middle way. I follow her guiding hand to reunite with the universe. 

Post is © Shannon Naithair Teine, 2011.

Content is © Senseless Sassafras